i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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