So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize