garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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