I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
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He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
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He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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