On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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