three words: i give head
three words: not that well
sarcasm needs its own font
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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