that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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