All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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