I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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