I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize