it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize