Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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