wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
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just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
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He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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