She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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