the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize