whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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