I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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