I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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