Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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