OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
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That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
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