Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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