so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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