So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
BRING THE BAGELS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize