You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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