Where did you get a picture of my penis
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize