Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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