is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
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Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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