when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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