Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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