i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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