i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize