So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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