I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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