ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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