I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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