I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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