theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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