I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize