Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
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We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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