How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
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incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
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I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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