Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize