HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
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you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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