where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
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I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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