Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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