I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I need to stop coming to work sober
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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