so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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