The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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