His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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