Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
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