White coat. Heels.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
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Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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